Fried Ravioli

With this low-fat nonsense, one of the things I've been doing is making some of our favorite bar foods at home, baked rather than fried, with good fats instead of 'wtf is THAT' fats. This is one of the bigtime hits.


1 package fresh ravioli
1 tbsp finely grated parmesan cheese
1/2c bread crumbs
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp dried marjoram
1/2 tbsp olive oil
pinch of salt
1 egg white
1 tbsp skim milk
1 tbsp half & half
marinara sauce for dipping

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. If you're using store bought ravioli like I did, because I'm far too lazy to make my own, make sure they're not stuck together. I prep my cookie sheet now too, by putting down a sheet of foil, because scrubbing off bits of breadcrumb is not my idea of an awesome saturday night.

On a plate, mix together the herbs, the breadcrumbs and the parmesan cheese. If you'd like, you can use 'Italian' store bought bread crumbs and forget the herbs. Mix in the olive oil thoroughly.

Mix together the salt, egg white, skim milk & 1/2 + 1/2 in a shallow bowl. At this point, you should have a sort of assembly line set up... ravioli container -> egg -> breadcrumb mixture -> cookie sheet. Dip the ravioli in the egg & lift it out onto the breadcrumb with one hand, then use the other hand to press breadcrumbs into both sides, shake off the excess, and lift it out onto the cookie sheet, one by one, until as many as you can stuff onto that sheet are on there. I don't space them out very far... they expand upward when they cook, when the filling heats up.

Bake for 10-15 minutes until they're super crispy and the filling is cooked through... this may vary depending on the size and filling of the ravioli you use. I don't flip them, because I'm way lazy, but if you want yours to be super zomg pretty you may want to flip after 5 minutes or so. Serve with marinara sauce.

Picky Husband Info: This recipe is a bit different than most 'fried' ravioli recipes, and it's all because of him and his silly heart. Psh. If you'd prefer, you can use more cheese and a whole egg, with just a 'splash' of dairy.

Verdict: "Holy crap is that good. ...holy CRAP is that good!!"

Garlic Bread

It's still high in fat, and I do add a little bit of butter. Overall, though, it's delicious and marginally healthy. Plus... it's frickin garlic bread. I mean. Come on.

1/3 a loaf of french bread or baguette
2-5 cloves of garlic, pressed, minced or grated
1 tsp dried herbs
1 tbsp butter blend
1-2 tbsp olive oil
salt & pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 350, or leave it at 400 if you're already making lasagna rolls. Cut your bread in half lengthwise and set it on a size-appropriate length of tin foil. I say '1/3 a loaf' above because that's what Dactyl & I eat most of the time. You can increase the recipe for more people, or use a whole loaf at your discretion.

In a small bowl, mix together everything but the bread until it's a pretty uniform paste. For herbs, I use oregano, basil & marjoram, but if all you want is oregano, or if you have one of those 'italian herb blends' go for it. Using a butter knife, spread the butter mixture as well as you can on both halves of the bread... it'll be a cross between pouring and spreading. I also like to rub the halves together when I'm done with the knife, but that's kind of unnecessary.

Make cuts across the width for servings. Wrap the bread in the foil, then throw it in the oven for 15 minutes.

Picky Husband Info: This is, oddly, full of 'good' fat, though it's still a ton of calories, so I like to pair this with something like a salad rather than the forementioned lasagna rolls.

The Verdict: "Garlic... bread? You're feeding me garlic bread?! *dives in facefirst*" Make sure to make him brush his teeth, ew.

All Fixed!

So, the saga of the silly broken window is over. When we got back last week, the house was pretty much done... until we tried to open the windows. Apparently our contractor had nailed them shut. Awesome. He fixed his mistake quickly and well, though. Above is the 'before' pic, and here's the after:

drumrollllll



So, it looks several thousand times better. Hooray. The coat of paint also made the house look a lot cleaner.

I checked on the birds in the grill again, and there was nothing there. The nest was pristine, but there were no baby birds or eggshells or anything. So weird.

Lasagna Rolls

One of the things I've never been able to do with my spaz-tastic nature is serve lasagna. I end up with a deconstructed mess of noodles and cheese. So, I came up with this recipe to try & remedy that and it works like a charm, and it makes me look like a dynamo when I entertain. Double score.

8 dry lasagna noodles
16 oz ricotta cheese
1/2 c mozzarella cheese, plus 1/2c for toppings
2 tbsp grated hard stinky cheese (romano, parmesan, asiago, etc)
1 tbsp dried oregano
1/2 tbsp dried basil
1/2 tsp dried red pepper flake or a few drops of tabasco
1 garlic clove, finely minced
salt & pepper to taste
~2c marinara sauce

Start by soaking the noodles in very hot tap water. Depending on your noodles and the temperature of your tap, this can take as little as 20 mins or as long as an hour or two. You can also boil the noodles, but this will make them scalding hot (duh) and as a result more difficult to work with. I generally start soaking them, mix up my filling & go watch TV or something for the rest of the time. You want them to be floppy but not falling apart. After you make this a few times you'll know how you like them.

Mix together everything else but the marinara in a large bowl. You can also add other fillings... the easiest fillings are very bendable, like spinach. Dactyl likes ground turkey sausage when I let him get away with it. I'm also a fan of mushrooms, and sometimes I swap the minced garlic for a few cloves of roasted. The one rule of thumb is that you should cook all your non-melty fillings (ie, don't try and put your cheese in a saute pan) first and then drain out either the water (in the case of most veggies) or grease (in the case of most meats). Either too greasy or too watery will make the filling get sloppy and fall out. You can also swap your filling out for a different lasagna recipe. You may want to prepare extra noodles, too, if you add a lot of extras to your filling. If you want a bit of insurance against filling fallout, feel free to add an egg to the mixture.

To assemble, take a noodle and pat it slightly dry. For the barebones recipe, I put a heaping spoonful of the filling mixture, another 1/3 of the way up, and then roll it toward the end, adding more filling if I run out. Don't roll too tightly, or you'll end up with just noodle. If you add a hunkier filling, you'll need to spread it down the length of almost the entire noodle before you roll it up, and then roll very gently. Try to leave a little bit of empty space at the end with no filling. Place your roll seam side down and repeat.

It's just Dactyl and myself, so 8 rolls is slightly excessive. Here, I prepare half the rolls to eat, and put the other half on a cookie sheet. I freeze them for about an hour, then put them in a plastic baggie. Another fringe benefit... your lasagna pan isn't in the freezer until you decide to use them, and you can bake off a couple for a lunch or something if you'd like without preparing an entire pan of lasagna.

To prepare the rolls, put 1c of sauce on the bottom on your pan, then put the rolls on top of the sauce, seam side down. Ideally the rolls shouldn't touch. Once you put them down, try to not rearrange them... this will make them more liable to stick. For smaller batches, use less sauce... it should coat the bottom of your dish to ~ 1/4". For a twist, you can also use alfredo sauce or (my personal favorite) marinara on the bottom and alfredo on top. When you have all the rolls down, cover each with a few additional spoonfuls of sauce, then add cheese on top. Cover the pan tightly with aluminum foil, then bake for 1/2hr at 400 degrees on a middle or lower rack. Uncover and let bake another 15-20 minutes until the cheese starts to brown. When baking from frozen, let bake covered at least 15-20 minutes longer.

Picky Husband Substitutions: I use part skim mozz and ricotta. I make sure I'm getting high quality ricotta too, because the cheaper stuff tastes 'gritty' to him.

The Verdict: two noms up.

Crazy Weekend

Just got back from a long weekend with a friend of Dactyl & mine in South Dakota, plus 2 other friends. We all know each other from playing World of Warcraft--geektacular, I know. The friend we visited and his father are 'slumlords' in a small college town. His father has a very large house which we all got to stay in... there's an indoor pool heated geothermically, among other things.

I only swam in said pool one time. Most of the time was spent in his home theatre, drinking and watching movies. Not surprising, considering the 'we were in South Dakota' bit. Dactyl was thrilled, as he got to eat red meat every day for nearly a week. I had all carbs and didn't drink anything which wasn't coke or liquor.

We also stopped at an upper Midwest convenience store chain called Kum & Go. I now have a metal water bottle emblazoned with their logo.

When we came back I had a hellacious head cold, which made flying a ton of fun. Now, we're trying to re-establish our equilibrium. What is this 'whole wheat' thing, anyway? Will this 'juice' stop my rapidly developing scurvy?

Oddly, when we came home, our grocery store was closed. Like, the sign was ripped down closed. huh.

Cucumber Salad

This is a nice addition to some heavier summer fare... it pairs very well with BBQ sauced items in particular. Also, it's pretty well idiot-proof, inexpensive and doesn't require any actual cooking. Score.

1 english cucumber or 2 regular cucumbers
1/4c red wine vinegar
1 tsp honey
1/2 tsp djion mustard
black pepper to taste

In a large bowl, mix together everything except the cucumber until it's very well combined. Slice the cucumber very thin. I use a knife, but I've used the 'slice' side of my box grater when I'm in a hurry. If you have a mandolin, that would work really well too.

Add the cucumber to the dressing. Toss to make sure the cucumber is thoroughly coated, then chill for at least 4 hours. Yah, that's really it. If you want you could add fresh herbs (dill in particular is nice) but I love it either way.

Picky Husband Info: I use a bit less mustard than specified here... I stir the mustard with a fork and use what sticks to it, usually closer to 1/4 tsp. Cucumbers are one of the few vegetables he'll eat without me grinding it to a paste.

The verdict: Pretty tasty. In summertime we have this weekly, because it's so ridiculously easy to make, and I can make it well in advance and have it on hand in a pinch.

for the... no, I can't be that cheesy, sorry.

So Dactyl & I have been doing a lot of outdoors things recently, but we've been neglecting the backyard. On my part, it's largely due to the huge bugs, as always. I went out to clear off the back patio so our 'guy' can come fix our windows in the back while we're in South Dakota. I saw some moss peeking out of the side of the grill and was like, huh. That's odd. And then I opened it.


That's right. There's a bird's nest in our grill. Initially I was flipping out because I thought it was a rat's nest, but Dactyl told me that he was sure it was a bird's nest because of the eggs in it. You can see a few in there now, I think there are 5 or 6. Awesome.